Tuesday, July 2, 2013

The Trouble with Technology

My kids think they want a dog but I won't let them get one.  Sure, dogs are cute, and fun, and can be a vehicle for teaching kids about responsibility, but as a mom who is "animaled out" with only our one fat, very stupid cat to deal with, I figure my kids' handheld electronic devices are just as good for them.    I mean, owning a cell-phone, iPod or tablet is just as good as having a pet, or even better in some ways, don't you think?    True, an iPod may not be as cute or cuddly as a dog but it certainly requires some level of responsibility and, just like a dog, an iPod or cell phone can keep you company, make you feel safe when you're alone and entertain you.  And don't tell me you can't 'love' your handheld, because my experience says differently.  Plus, an iPod doesn't stink, or shed, or poop on the carpet.  But, as my kids and I have discovered over the last couple of months, there are a few things that our electronic "pets" can't do.  For example, electronics do not come when you call them, they do not know how to swim, and they are never the same after being dropped from the top of the bleachers (although that last one is probably true for dogs as well).

Earlier this Spring, Emily lost her iPod touch, or maybe it would be more accurate to say Emily's iPod disappeared, because it seemed to have literally vanished right out of her pocket.  She is positive she had it when she got into Mark's car one Wednesday night to go to church.  On the way, they stopped to pick up a couple other kids and, when they all got out of the car, Emily couldn't find her iPod.  We searched Mark's car top to bottom several times, checked the church parking lot and lost and found, and  combed the yards and bushes of the kids we had picked up (in the rain, mind you) but could not find it.   Emily was devastated but eventually accepted the fact it was gone and, since her mean parents wouldn't just go out and buy a replacement, she would have to make do with just her cell phone for a few months until her next birthday rolled around.

Then, just before school got out, Emily's cell phone was dropped from the top of the school bleachers during the powder-puff football game.  The drop completely killed the touchscreen which meant that all you could do with the phone was make calls, which, as far as a teenager is concerned, is the same as completely broken.  We had some upgrades available on our cell plan, so after looking at Verizon's sad selection of non-smartphones and checking into the new data-sharing plans, we decided that Mark and I would get new iPhones, Natalie and Emily would get our old iPhones, and Natalie would then, in turn, give her iPod to Bryce (Brandon already had an iPod) making everyone happy.

But, of course, in a house full of teens, happiness is a fleeting thing.  Only days after ordering the new phones, Brandon took Bryce to the pool and went swimming with his iPod in the pocket of his trunks.  It did not survive.  At least, with a birthday in July, Brandon wouldn't have to wait too long for a replacement.  Then, two days after drowning his iPod (two days!!), he went swimming with a friend and did the EXACT same thing to his cell phone!  Both his devices dead in less than a week.  A more cynical parent might think he did it on purpose.  I don't think that he did, but I guess it eventually worked out to his advantage, because after a few weeks of being mercilessly teased by all of us, he got an early birthday present of a new iPhone too.

Of course, the new smartphones have meant that we have had to do a lot more monitoring and set a lot of new rules about electronics use.  Sometimes, I feel like all I do is take phones and iPods away.  But, still, I'd rather do that than bathe a dog, so I guess all is well.

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